Jen Wang @jen@space-pirates.org

I don't have the answers, aside from doing what little I can to exert pressure on politicians, to protest as I'm able. But honestly, it was just so fucking bleak. To be asked to reassure these parents that their child would be safe. I feel like everyone in education being asked to individually solve systemic problems is so pervasive and toxic and unending.

That "securing" the school would really just mean rebuilding the entire structure completely, this time with walls all around, no windows, etc., etc. That security measures and drills are empty and likely useless, compared to policy change. Like the duck-and-cover drills they used to do for atomic bombs.

I said something diplomatic about how we don't have any changes planned, but that I completely sympathized with their worries and fears. That was true. But what I did not say was that locking the gate (their suggestion) was meaningless, that a gunman with an assault rifle could murder everyone on the yard from outside, without even trying to open that gate. That they could jump over the gate.

I work part-time at the preschool my children attend(ed) and just got an e-mail from a family who will be new next year, wondering what safety measures we will take in response to the shooting. Namely, that we have a courtyard with playground that our classrooms open onto, with a gate at one end which has a chime, but is not locked. The gate is not super high, and is made of iron railings.

Hey, friends, how are you?

Pic by @siobhan

Folks, we binge-watched "Severance" and it was *so* good.

I don't think it's super likely that my child would have or could have caught COVID from this other kid. But I still feel feelings about it, and I'm resentful of what COVID's showing me about other people's capacity to care for their communities.

I confirmed that it was true with the child's babysitter. I didn't ask if she was vaccinated; she looked old enough to be eligible, but rates in that age group are low. Around here, the city health dept. wants you to isolate at home for 10 days if you're a close contact of someone with COVID, or isolate for 5 and test negative.

My kid made a new friend at the park. They'd been playing happily for a good long while when the other kid announced, "Both my parents have COVID! That's why my babysitter brought me to the park!" She had a fabric mask on, for what it's worth.

Anxiety dream where @siobhan was surprisingly and weirdly rude, and it turned out she was an alien shapeshifter. I ended up chasing her through the mid-90s "Sense & Sensibility" movie. Not the set, the movie. Aliens, the original Patrick Doyle score, lasers, Alan Rickman, the works.

Dream journal, a thread:

Brb going to see what server settings need to change so that I can post this 7-minute video of my kids singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart".

Someone on Twitter said something about how we cannot grow callous about the loss of life that the decision will cause. But we're expected to reach 1M COVID deaths in the US soon, and the milestone is going almost unnoticed. I don't think I've heard anything marking those deaths since the 100K milestone. I think we're already in a place of dissociation, culturally, and it's just...on my mind.

I've honestly been depressed about Roe v. Wade. Not exactly surprised, but the reality of it landing is hitting me nonetheless. I think it's just re-traumatizing. Partly because so many people are sharing their own stories in their grief. And partly because it just makes me remember/rethink the various ways misogyny has intersected with my healthcare.

I feel like my base layer has been creeping pandemic dread for a couple years now, but other than that, things are good. I'm poking around trying to assess whether a New Career is in order for myself. I still love to compose, but it has not ever paid a living wage for me, and I think I'm happier when I don't feel like I have to take every gig I'm offered. I work as an admin at my children's preschool and absolutely love the community, but not sure the work will be for me long-term.

Check in, friends; how are you?

Can I share good Twitter threads on here? Is that a thing?

Anyway, thankfully have not experienced this many times, but the biggest bummer was when the first big donor to take interest in my chamber group (back in the day) was one of these guys. My co-director (a man) ended up primarily handling the relationship at my request.

https://twitter.com/GergelyOrosz/status/1521983607925055489

I just watched this 27-minute video on Asian Americans from John Oliver. I feel some kind of way about how much more it taught me about Asian America than my entire formal education. It also, as a bonus, includes the use of "you bumbling pineapple bun" as an insult, which is stellar.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29lXsOYBaow

I learn, have learned, a lot from my time on other networks. And I don't know that I'll totally stop using them? Big Plans make me leery. But I do love the possibility of being able to disengage on platforms that make misinformation on a large scale possible at least at times, without feeling like my connections to people I want to hear from is this thing those platforms hold over me?